by Angelo Ragaza - March 2023
Samy Nemir Olivares (@samyforbrooklyn)
"One day I decided: I'm going to start living in my authentic self. During lunch time, I went to this vintage store in Bushwick Brooklyn. There was “male” clothing and “female” clothing. I went through things piece by piece, not thinking about gender, but, ‘What will make me happy?’ I started picking pieces and they were all dresses. That week, I showed up in some of them at work. I felt more confident than ever."
This interview has been shortened and edited for clarity.
Could you tell us a little about yourself? I am an activist, former candidate for the New York State Assembly, and communications professional at an LGBTQ-rights nonprofit.
How would you describe your style? Classic, elegant, empowered, and gender-queer.
Can you talk about the beginnings of the evolution of your sense of style? Style for me is not necessarily about fashion. It’s one of the most powerful channels to express our gender identity and its multiple expressions. So, when queer people emphasize style, it’s about embracing our authentic selves unapologetically. For me, style is not about any particular piece of clothing but about the physical expression of my gender identity expressed through style, which is a spiritual and political act altogether. Without saying much, our styles alone start introducing ourselves and communicating to the world our sense of freedom, autonomy over our lives and rejection of gender or societal norms.
When did you start wearing dresses or skirts? I grew up in Yauco, this rural conservative town in Southern Puerto Rico. In Puerto Rico once I was in a school theater production. I brought this wig to class and the teacher refused to start the class until I took it off. Here was my first attempt to start testing longer hair. I felt so angry and uncomfortable that I didn't try something like that again. I knew that I was gay, yet I felt that there was something else that was not crystallized. It was not until I arrived in New York that I realized: It's also my gender identity. It's my sense of style. I really want to wear this clothing.
Samy Nemir Olivares in a white blouse and black skirt in front of New York skyline.
Photo credit: Luis Carle
After college, I did some journalism and then joined the Hillary Clinton campaign as a Spanish-language social media strategist. After that, I started working at the Center for Popular Democracy, a nonprofit in New York. For my master’s thesis on transgender rights, I had extensively interviewed transgender people, gender queer people, non-binary people. At the end, I thought, ‘I am closer to them than I thought. It's not just the subject of my interviews. I'm actually one of them.’
One day I decided: I'm going to start living in my authentic self. I don't know what that is, I'm just going to try it. During lunch time, I went to 28 Scott, this vintage store in Bushwick Brooklyn. There was “male” clothing and “female” clothing. I went through things piece by piece, not thinking about gender, but, ‘What will make me happy?’ I started picking pieces and they were all dresses. That week, I showed up in some of them at work. I felt more confident than ever.
Were there things that you bought the first time that you particularly remember certain garments, or certain items of clothing that were really special to you? It was fuschia, purple, green and blue dress, in almost an animal print, but with a more kaleidoscope type of effect. It had long sleeves, silk satin, an 80s silhouette with a V-shape in the chest and a pencil skirt. The first day I wore it, Cynthia Nixon came to the office, and we actually took a photo together with me in that dress. I paired it with pearls and navy blue slippers.
Samy Nemir Olivares in a green paisley dress.
Do you have certain preferences when you're shopping for clothing? I like things that don't get wrinkled. I have never used an iron in over 15 years. That's one rule for me. If it gets too wrinkled, I'm not going to wear it. I also love long sleeves because they cover my arms. I love big skirts. And I like classic, solid colors. Navy blue, grey and blue and white. I am surprisingly not attracted to bright colours or patterns. I love simplicity, elegance, work attire. In fact, my favorite dress I wore the day I lost my election for the New York State Assembly. One of the thoughts that got me through the night was: I'm going to lose the election. But I'm wearing this beautiful dress.
Jewelry preferences? Pearls, pearls and more pearls. For a New York Times article about non-binary style I was in recently, I wore pearls, my mother's earrings. They’re a symbol of elegance but also her work ethic, how professional she was and how dedicated she was to her job as a social worker. Many of my pearls are my mother's. She has been detaching herself from her jewelry and giving it to me. It's such an act of love. My mother didn't have money. These were pieces that she bought herself and kept safe for years. They are a symbol of the perseverance and the resiliency that my mother had. I also love gold but only for special occasions. My everyday jewelry is all silver, especially paired with blue stones, like my larimar ring (larimar is the national stone of the Dominican Republic) and a pendant necklace with lapis lazuli. I have tried to buy one piece in each country I visit, such as in Mexico and Brazil.
You have chosen to flaunt your facial hair. I love my beard and my gender identity and expression does not strive necessarily to look like a woman. Having a beard and wearing a dress are not incompatible. Society has created this binary thinking that if you wear a dress, you need high heels. If you're wearing high heels, you need to shave your legs. I think that being gender nonconforming and gender queer is literally going against some of those challenges.
Samy Nemir Olivares in a black dress paired with oversized bracelets and earrings.
Makeup was never a thing for me until recently. This year I decided to start having fun and playing with it. I'm very simple when it comes to makeup, but I like mascara, some eyeshadow, and some lipstick. One of the first lipsticks that I had, the shade is called Fuck Kavanagh. My friend gave it to me. Now I love red lipstick. I love how it matches with white pearls. Earrings, pearls and red lipstick are my trademark.
Do you carry handbags? Always! I love big leatherette bags. I'm like an old Latina mom, carrying chargers, food, and water. I am prepared! In most cases in New York City, you spend all day out. Sometimes I even carry clothing changes. My favorite is this navy blue bag I have that matches everything, and can go from the beach to a fancy event.
Angelo Ragaza has written for Vogue, the New York Times, Newsweek and other outlets and lives in New York City.